unthinkable

***i wrote this note october 31, 2010 to dedicate it to NICK WINTERS. He was a true warrior of the iron and a true brother. He gave me knowledge and thru his actions he showed me what it means to NEVER BE SATISFIED BY ANY MEANS! he best represents what doing the "unthinkable" is. he did it during his training and did to get stronger. He motivated me and fired me up to be stronger and be proud to be a FR3AK. And for that i thank him and will miss him and the strength, knowledge, and motivation i carry with me that he gave birth do will never die.  And for that, I will dedicate my lifting now to him...in doing so I WILL GO RAW FOR GOOD. REST IN PEACE BROTHER...until i see you again...KEEP THE BAR LOADED.***

what does doing the "unthinkable" mean? it means doin things no one saw comin. committing to an act in favor of a larger picture at the cost of something. but here's the thing...that "cost" was already paid. doin the unthinkable means doin something without hesitation that fuckin shocks everyone. like a freak that's been in the basement that comes out and fuckin does shit no one has seen shaking up that fuckin balance that people calling themselves "champions" do. that's the unthinkable. to mean doin the unthinkable is what happens when all you have left is PURE hunger and no other way but to charge thru and unleash hell. doin the unthinkable at times can be doin that extra 100lbs no one is willing to do but don't think you can do..it can be doin that one crazy HEAVY-ass set on squats with a weight you've never done before after having done a huge repout for 10 reps and your flat out tired...it can be breaking a 20 year old record no one thought you could do..it can be loading up the weight on the bar that you believe isn't fuckin human, no one has done, but you know it must be done..AND YOU DO IT EASY! it can be goin outside of what you know to acheive that goal...and doin it without hesitation...and no regrets. unthinkable is all in the mind goin foward...

the trigger...

"killer instinct with violent intentions creates the primal resolve to be stronger when the hunger to be stronger is all you got left."


have you ever had a sound just unnerve you from hearing it? like everytime its heard...its opening a cage wider and wider? like once that cage is opened that inner beast is unleashed with none to stop it...that's what it feels like to me. the sound of plates slamming the floor and sound of plates being hammered into a rack..i've taken for granted...til recently. but i see why. when the intensity and hunger are in the air...those sounds become unnerving...putting me into a trance like state of pure rage.

the iron wrought cell....

"Liberated in time by the rust of my chains, my growl penetrates your grievous fears. The links of your fence may contain me for now, but I embrace them as a testament to the weakness of my enemies. I AM AGGRESSION !!"


there is a reason why there is a iron wrought cell between us. its more of my fault but more of a protection from the world. they know not the inner workings of the cell or what it lies. i confined myself to this cell for a reason...or is its the world's judgment of me that has me confined. it could be a little of both. the solitude and silence of a cell is something the world is both taking for granted and fear the most.

we live in a world that strives for acceptance on all and any levels. we go to gyms just to show off who we are to those who may not give a rats ass about or to live out some delusional fantasy that we are doing something that the PROs  haven't done or to be the HERO...u know the type..the one people always talk about being the strongest and/or biggest guy but never does anything with it but probably can find him at some random bar on the weekends. in places like that you get away from why the hell your in the gym in the first place. i realized this and it led me to be blinded and misguided. the feed off of  ego, glory, and pride of the iron...they lose themselves in a complacency blanket becoming satisfied cause others accept them as they are now. they forget however...what brought them to the iron in the first place.