swimming with sharks

does anyone remember that guy that competed and was the only one that won his weight class cause he was the only competition? fuck no. why does everyone remember the underdog? cause he has so much against him that winning wasn't possible and made it possible. its why guys like dorian yates...bill kazmaier....mariusz pudinanowski....ed coan...etc...will never be forgotten because their strength was measured against the strongest. that's how you find who you the fuck are. here's another. who the hell are u doin this for? these guys didn't have chips on their shoulders...haters on their asses...posers acting like them...they did it for them and themselves only. i'm slowly starting to realize what sent me to my own prison in the first place.


its already 2014 and i think in powerlifting(just as an example) we've heard more bitching and whining about shit more than ever. and maybe it needed to happen. i see alot of "hyped" posted about haters this..haters that...i remember seein one about making your supporters proud. i have one. MAKE YOURSELF PROUD! do you first before you worry about who you beat...or who you outlifted. the competitions i've done..i've done them to prove something to everyone...to prove that they were wrong to doubt me...hate on me...toss me aside like i'm nothing. and everytime it led to a less than stellar results. i did the 2007 apf ga state and never once did i think about any haters or doubters but really thought about bein the best I CAN BE FOR ME. fuck everyone else. to reach the elite levels of any sport...you can't have a chip on your shoulder. that in itself. let me break down why i say "be the best you can be FOR YOU"

a man who's blade has no hesitation about his abilities or his heart will always cut the sharpest ahead of one who feels he has something to prove to the world. the one with something to prove will always have that doubt in his head that he's never at his best cause his best is gauged off of negativity and doubts of others who will always continue to think less of him. a man who always will do his best will always do that. he will find a way to succeed...to be stronger...to be better...never find an excuse to fail. he will always be stronger cause he wants to be stronger. thereby every set and every rep..he's gonna give his best like theres no tommorrow. the man with someting to prove to the world...will always feel there is a tomorrow...cause satisfying the haters and doubters will see no end. his drive IS NOT "his" drive...its the drive of those that seek his downfall.

the reason for this mentality is this. when your the waters with sharks...they seek to prey upon those that bleed and they smell blood first. sharks eat cause they are hungry. they eat cause they want to. you can't swim with the sharks if your not about proving yourself to YOURSELF. i saw this at RUM 7 this past weekend. while every competitor was a shark..none of them smelled blood from their competitors...why...cause they were surrounded by real fuckin athletes with real heart and real hunger. no shit to prove to one another but to themselves. doin the best they can that day...cause that day is all you fuckin have. there is no tomorrow. its that simple. and that's what makes your competitors better by you doin the best you can THAT DAY....cause your competitors are gonna give their best for them that day too which makes the comraderie formed that day hard to break cause you and your competitors did the same thing that day. placing...money...status...all that shit comes second to bettering YOURSELF first by proving yourself to yourself.

there is a comic where a guy for most part of the series relied upon his sword for strength and every battle that worked til his sword was broken. then it turns out that he was holding himself back cause he himself WAS THE SWORD. in saying that...be the sword. not the wielder. it makes sense now...the blade is me...has been this whole time. the reason why the blade is me cause i'm doin this for me..i love this for me. this strength i have cause i've given my best every day THAT DAY. now i will go foward in doing that. giving my best...every day THAT DAY. doing every rep cause i want to be better...i want to be stronger...FOR ME! fuck my past and fuck those who want to stay in it. fuck them all. they are the weight that makes my sword heavy. i see this now. when i watched the lifters at RUM 7...every lifter was doin this shit for them and only themselves. they weren't trying to impress one another...when you compete at RUM...your amongst the best. there isn't shit left to prove but to yourself and ONLY YOURSELF. and there is only one thing to fuckin do....DO YOU FCKIN BEST THAT DAY!! no one will feel sorry for you if you do less than that cause you know u didnt. does that mean get complacent with everything. no. it means giving your best every day for that day...120% all the way...knowing that yesterday is done and tomorrow you have to do it again cause being better...being stronger is what you want to do....for you! when you do this for you...the mind games don't work. they don't faze you. anyone that does it is weaker than you. that's the truth. be the blade. this is why i'm here in my own prison...facing my own demons...facing the same blade that was given to me by god in the form of gift of strength. cause nothing is impossible without his strength and he gave me this strength cause HE believe in me. i have to believe in me cause he do. another fact that's true.

"i do what i want when i want cause i can"....this statement has never been more true to me. i do it cause i love it. i do it for me...no one else. i mention that cause God knows i'm doin this for him cause its his gift that he gave me. the strength to do this. by me honoring his gift...i honor his name. there isn't anything else i need to prove to God for by honoring that gift in his name is all he wants.

aside from that...that's one thing that made guys like ed coan..bill kazmaier...magnus magnusson....mariuz pudianowski...ryan kennelly...flex lewis..branch warren...cause this isn't something they do...this is their passion. they do this for themselves cause they love this! they do this to better themselves and to give their best everyday for that day cause they know there is no tomorrow. if your constantly trying to prove something the world by showing how big of a chip you have on your shoulder...then your in this for the wrong reason and doing your passion an injustice. its easy to give into proving the haters and doubters wrong but that's the challenge...can your love for this hold water against the negativity? this is no longer the case for me. no longer. this goes back to the old adage..."you live to fight another day"...you live to be better than yesterday...cause once today comes...yesterday is done and gone. all you can do is be the best you can be THAT DAY. leave nothing left on the table. let nothing fuel you other than your hunger to be better and stronger than yesterday. be the blade. i know now..I AM THE BLADE....the BLADE IS ME.


is this blade you?